Self care seems to be a trendy buzz-world on social media these days, especially in the world of motherhood.
"Self care is a non-negotiable for moms!"
"You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of your kids!"
But for busy moms (and moms on a budget), self care can feel unattainable. The reality is that the majority of moms (myself included) have limited time, energy, and financial resources to indulge in something as "simple" as taking care of themselves.
As a mom of 2 under the age of 5 working a full time job and a small business side hustle, I know full well the challenges moms face regarding their self care.
Most days I barely have time to finish my coffee, never-mind take a couple of hours to get a pedicure. And to be quite honest, most days I am so over-stimulated and overwhelmed, I'd rather not have to shlep myself off to a public space and make small-talk with strangers (maybe that's the introvert in me).
So, I became really good at figuring out how to make sure I get my self care in, but in the comfort of my home AND with limited financial resources (thank you student loans and sky-rocketing rental prices).
I'd also like to make a note that if you're not able to partake in any self care in this season of your life right now, I have been there and I want you to know that it is okay. You are not less of a mom, woman, or human being just because you can't carve out time or energy to throw on a face mask. You are enough just as you are.
Here are my top 8 self care ideas for busy moms that you can do at home:
1. MINDFULNESS
Before you roll your eyes, hear me out. There is tons of research out there to support the benefits of mindfulness and meditation practices in your daily routine. Specifically, mindfulness reduces stress and improves the way you react emotionally to stressful situations. Now, I don't know about you... but my life as a mom is incredibly stressful and anything I can try to reduce that stress is worth it to me.
I use an app called Calm to do very short daily mindfulness and meditation exercises. I usually do this before I go to sleep (what little sleep I'm able to get.. am I right?).
Affirmation cards are also a great way to get introduced to mindfulness. I use this set to start each day with a positive message and intention. You can use them in your office, in the car, or pair it with your morning coffee (my favorite). The artwork on each card lets me escape reality for a bit.
2. MOVEMENT
Exercise, movement, and giving my body a good stretch has been one of the first things to go since having my babies. When I do get the opportunity, even just 5 minutes, I always feel so much better after I move my body.
One thing I really enjoyed in my early 20s was dance. I took classes and danced the majority of my childhood and being able to connect to that version of me again always makes me feel more grounded and elevated.
I encourage you to move your body in a way that you enjoy. That might be yoga, dance, a slow stretch, anything that gives your body movement in a positive way.
TIP: YouTube has so many videos for FREE for almost anything movement related you can think of. I started by searching for 'postpartum exercises' or 'postpartum yoga' to gently get back into movement.
3. WATER THERAPY
Okay 'water therapy' might be slightly misleading as we often think of water therapy or hydrotherapy as something much more involved than what I am suggesting here.
For moms, we usually get in a very quick and functional shower (if anything) for the day. This typically involves rushing in, doing our business to get clean, and jumping out to check the baby monitor before getting dressed faster than Taylor Swift between set changes on her world tour.
I am proposing that you take a solid half hour (or hour) in a hot shower or warm bath with your only intentions being to relax.
I personally enjoy baths when I am able to take one. I use this herbal bath soak that's infused with lavender (and safe to use with baby too if you have to have baby join). It lets me escape the non-stop commotion even just for a little bit. I set the scene of an at-home spa with some mellow music and light a candle.
4. GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY
In a total 180 from the last self care idea, I now propose that you get dirty. And no, I'm not talking about spicy bedroom stuff (although that can be self care too). I literally mean get your hands dirty.
There is something to be said about using our hands for something aside from cleaning up after everyone else in our household.
How good does it feel to knead a big ball of dough? Or use potting soil to replant that succulent in your kitchen window?
When my son was a toddler, I was reminded of how good it can feel to get dirty while doing sensory bins with him. Mixing the beans around and digging into the sand box with nothing on my mind but what was right in front of me.
Why do we need a reason to get our hands dirty again like a child does so willingly? I say, act like a kid again and get your hands dirty!
Here are some ideas: make hand bread with your hands, mix cookie dough with your hands, use your hands to plant something green, get creative and paint, or dive into learning how to use modeling clay. It doesn't have to be perfect and it doesn't have to take up a ton of time.
5. MAKE YOUR FAVORITE DISH
I know that not everyone enjoys cooking (hi, it's me!) but what I do know is that we all need to nourish our bodies and most all of us do enjoy the taste of our favorite foods!
As moms, I would bet that we've limited the kinds of dishes we make because our kids won't eat them (although I do LOVE chicken nuggets sometimes).
I really miss that spicy Thai dish I used to eat weekly and the balsamic vinegar-based pasta salad that my son thinks tastes like "pickle yuck".
When I get the opportunity to snag a solid 10 minutes to make a dish I like and actually sit down and enjoy it while it's still fresh.. it is *chef's kiss* perfection. Even if it is at 9PM when my babies are asleep.
If you have the extra funds, you can even order delivery!
Nourishing our bodies is a necessity. Nourishing our bodies with something that makes us happy dance while eating it.. well now that's self care.
6. VIRTUAL FRIEND DATE
No time to meet up, can't find (or afford) a babysitter, or friends live too far away for a ladies night or lunch date with friends? No problem.
Thanks to it being 2023 and the (maybe few) positives of technology, we have the ability to still spend meaningful time with friends and have conversations with adults without ever leaving home.
Set a day and time to have a FaceTime or Zoom chat with friends! Make it a virtual ladies night in or a one-on-one gal pal chat.
Either way, I always feel better after being able to talk about something other than Sesame Street characters and flatulence all day long!
7. SAVOR A NICE CUPPA
It's often a running joke in the mom world that we can never finish a cup of coffee or tea while it's still warm.
I used to love sitting on my porch and drinking my nice, warm cup of coffee before my busy morning routine began.
Now, I'm lucky if I get the chance to throw on some deodorant before racing to get both kids off to daycare or school and realizing half-way through my work day that I forgot to brush my teeth (gross, but relatable?)
While self care is often regarded as a luxurious experience enjoyed at a spa, moms rarely get the opportunity to do so (also, who has the extra money for that right now? Not me.)
While sipping on a warm cup of coffee or tea might not seem very luxurious, let me encourage you to try it.
Enjoying a warm beverage actually encourages us to slow down, regulate our breathing, and gets our heart rate in a comfy spot. Some of our best reflecting time happens when we're enjoying a nice cuppa.
I won't go into it here, but herbal tea has many benefits that I try to take advantage of in my self care routine. Give it a try!
Here is a nice de-caff blend that is safe for pregnant and nursing mamas too. I also use this tea infuser bottle because I enjoy loose leaf tea blends and can carry it on the go (a must-have for tea lover moms).
8. SIMPLY DO... NOTHING
I know this one seems like a throwaway but hear me out!
As moms we are so overstimulated and overwhelmed, it can feel like we have a full-blown three ring circus happening inside of our heads.
I've often joked to my friends that even just the walk around the back of the car after putting my kids in their car seats feels like a vacation sometimes. You know what I mean? You shut their car door, and the 3 second silence you get until you sit in the driver seat is like a little slice of heaven.
So for my last and final at-home self care idea I present to you: nothingness.
Grab a relaxing aromatherapy spray and an eye mask, lay on your bed in complete silence (or maybe some white noise if the kids are awake and rowdy), and just be still. This can take 5 minutes, or this can be a pre-curser for bedtime.. either way, just do nothing.
This gives your brain and body time to reset. It lowers our cortisol levels, regulates our heart rate and breathing, and gives us a chance to set an intention for how we want to carry out the rest of the day.
I recommend this non-tox aromatherapy spray with lavender and sandalwood and this silk eye mask.
My final parting note is this: self care is whatever you need it to be. Do not let anyone tell you that taking a shower or doing basic daily routine things is not self care. For those of us that struggle with their mental health (myself included), taking a shower is absolutely self care. For those of us without the ability to hire a babysitter or put the kids with grandma, we have to get crafty with what we can do with self care at home. You do you. Because you matter.